What would you fork out R350 000 for these days? I'm mindful that the figure is roughly what I owe the bank on my you-can-barely-sling-a-cat pad in Braamfontein as I make my way up the road to one of South Africa's most exclusive addresses in perhaps our most glamorous (and expensive) suburb.
Nettleton Road in Clifton, Cape Town, nestles at the end of a cul-de-sac. It's a three-level pad for which some very rich person could find him or herself forking out R350000 a day during the Soccer World Cup.
I press the buzzer and after a few moments the wood-panelled doors are opened by owner Mike Jeffries.
Curly-haired with a tinge of grey and casually dressed, Jeffries is not keen on being photographed or being quoted in the media.
The British-born, Hollywood-based screenwriter and movie producer is affable and friendly, but he prefers his 1217 square metre property to speak for itself.
Shrugging off a request to photograph him in the Stefan Antoni-designed home he purchased a few years ago, he walks us through the property.
But as we go about snapping pictures of the view and the winding walls, Jeffries disappears, leaving us to our business.
A brunette beauty suns herself while surfing the Internet from a deck chair in front of the rim-flow infinity pool, which finishes off the expansive entertainment deck.
The minutia of the property are left to a phalanx of hired hands led by Jeffries's property manager and PA, former model Gail Sylvester.
Sylvester runs a home-management company for the rich and famous. She also handles procurement (read: making sure those bottles of Cristal are restocked after that bender of a party the night before).
Sylvester is tight-lipped about details, but she does admit that Jeffries "entertains a helluva lot and the type of guest he entertains are of a high calibre". For instance, a couple of weeks ago he hosted a party for the English cricket team.
She also isn't willing to divulge details of the who's who that have stayed at the Nettleton villa, but I have already confirmed that George Michael was here in June (I don't even try asking Sylvester what Michael thought of the sunken bath with the breathtaking views of the sugared beaches below, considering the stubbled pop star's predilection for public ablution facilities) . Oh, and then there was Nicolas Cage, who got the property for a steal - just R1-million for the time he stayed in Cape Town while filming Lord of War in 2005.
The villa, with its Fort Knox-style security, was one of the first in the country to sport a glass-encased central circular lift. It also has five bedrooms (that's enough for you and your billionaire entourage of hangers-on, bodyguards and assistants), and a Gaggenau-equipped kitchen (which your private chef will love cooking in).
Why head to the Planet bar at the Nelly when you can imbibe those French bubbles in your own private bar, and drink wine from your own private cellar? Then there's the Jacuzzi, sauna, walk-in-safe, state-of-the-art gym, enough garage space to fit four cars, including the Mercedes-Benz CLK63 AMG which comes with the property.
Phew!
Oh, one small detail - it's not worth Jeffries's while to rent out his villa for a couple of days at a time, so ideally you should be willing to take on the place for the duration of the soccer fest, which runs from June 11 to July 11.
Surely that's small change considering the cachet of being able to pooh-pooh Chelsea Football Club owner Roman Abramovich - who is rumoured to be mooring his yacht in Cape Town for the Fifa fest.
